Joke Mania

There was a blonde, a brunette and a red-head stuck on a deserted island. They were searching for food one day when they found a genie lamp. They each rubbed it and a genie popped up. He said “Since you all found my lamp I will give you a wish each. The brunette said “I wish I was 10% smarter so I can get off this island.” She swam off the island. The red-head seeing what the blonde did said “I wish I was 25% smarter to get off this island.” She built a raft out of leaves and branches. The blonde seeing what they did said “I wish I was 50% smarter to get off this island.” The blonde turned into a man and walked over the bridge.

A blonde and a brunette were walking down the basement stairs in the dark to find a wrench when the blonde screamed. “Something brushed against my rightr leg!!” “Oh My Gosh. Are you sure?” “Yea and it keeps doing it.” she said as she ran around the basement. Then she stopped and thought for a second. “Hold up. That was just my left leg.

A woman hired a contractor to repaint the interior of her house. The woman walked the man through the second floor of her home and told him what colors she wanted for each room. As they walked through the first room, the woman said, “I think I would like this room in a cream color.” The contractor wrote on his clipboard, walked to the window, opened it and yelled out, “Green side up!” He then closed the window and continued following the woman to the next room. The woman looked confused, but proceeded with her tour. “In this room, I was thinking of an off blue.” Again, the contractor wrote this down, went to the window, opened it and yelled out, “Green side up!” This baffled the woman, but she was hesitant to say anything. In the next room, the woman said she would like it painted in a light rose color. And once more, the contractor opened the window and yelled, “Green side up!” Struck with curiosity, the woman mustered up the nerve to ask, “Why do you keep yelling ‘Green side up’ out my window every time I tell you the color I would like the room?” The contractor replied, “Because I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.”

A blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge, who hit the ground first?

The brunette, cos the blonde stopped to asked for directions!!!

A blonde was sick and tired of hearing jokes about being dumb. She decided to dye her hair black and set out to prove to the world just how wrong they were about blondes. She drove out of the city and into the country where there were many sheep farms. She spotted a sheep farmer, stopped her car and said, “If I can tell you exactly how many sheep are in your field, will you give me a sheep?” He said “Sure!” She counted and said “131.” The farmer said, “That’s Right! Go ahead and get a sheep.” The blonde went and got her sheep. Then, the farmer said, “If I tell you what color your hair really is, can I have it back?” and she said, “Yes.” “Blonde. Now give me back my dog.”.

This blonde went in an electrical store for a microwave. She asked can i please have that microwave? the guy said no you’re blonde. She goes dyes her head black after that she went to the shop can i please have that microwave? the guy said no you’re blonde. so she goes dyes her hair all different colours after that she went to the shop can i please have that microwave? How do you know I’m a blonde? the guy said because your pointing to a fridge.

Whats a blondes favorite nursury rhyme?

humpme dumpme

Two blondes walk in to a building.
You’d think one of them would have seen the building.

There was a blonde, a brunette, a red-head and a bald woman stuck on a desert island.
The brunette decided to swim home, but got 1/3 of the way there and drowned, The red-had decided to try, but drowned 1/4 of the way there. The blonde decide that she had to risk it, so she swam 1/2 of the way there when she stopped and swam back.
“why did you come all the way back, when you were half way home?” screamed the bald woman. “well”, said the blonde “I was going to carry on, but I got tired and thought I’d rest first”.

Q: How do you get the blonde to turn on the light after sex?
A: tell her to open the car door

Q:what did the blondes’ left leg say to the right leg?
A: Nobody knows, they’ve never met