Joke Mania

A blonde dyed her hair to red one day, then she takes a walk down the road and comes upon a farm. She walks up to the fenced yard where the farmer is counting his sheeps. The farmer said hello and that if she guessed how many he had, then she can keep one. The blonde thought it was a great idea, so she starts counting in her head. She finally guessed 26, which was RIGHT!!! The farmer was amazed, but he kept his word. She climbed over the fence and back with the animal in her arms. The farmer takes one look at her and the animal and says, ” If I guess what natural hair color you have, can i have my dog back?”

There’s this blonde who goes into an electronics shop, and asks the bloke in there if she can buy this TV. But the bloke says Sorry, we dont serve blondes.
So she goes away, dyes her hair brown, and goes back. Sorry, we dont serve blondes, the bloke says.
So she goes back and dyes her hair ginger, but he still tells her they dont serve blondes.
Sooooo, she goes back yet again, but dyes her hair black. Again, she asks if she can buy the TV, but yet again, she cant get served.
Look, she says, how can you tell i’m a blonde, even tho i’ve dyed my hair???

Soory lady, thats a microwave!!!!

What do u call a blonde with 1brain cell?
GIFTED!
What do u call a blonde with 2brain cells?
PREGNANT!
What do u call a blonde with 3brain cells?
A GOLDEN RETRIEVER!

A young man wanted to get his beautiful “blonde” wife
something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he
decides to buy her a cellphone.

She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and
explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day
the blonde goes shopping.

Her phone rings and it’s her husband, “Hi hun,”he says “how
do you like your new phone?”

She replies: “I just love, it’s so small and your voice is
clear as a bell! But there’s one thing I don’t understand
though.”

“What’s that, baby?” asks the husband.

“How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?”

A blonde walking by the river came across another blonde directly across from her. The first blonde waved to the other and said “hey, how do i get to the other side”? The other blonde answered “You’re already on the other side”.

A blonde wearing headphones walks into a store and on the window it said ‘No Headphones’ so the clerk says, “I’m afraid I’ll have to make you take off those headphones.”

The blonde paid no attention to the clerk, so he said louder “If you don’t take off those headphones I will!”.
The blonde still paid no attention, so the clerk yanked the headphones off of her.Then she fainted all of a sudden.

The clerk put on the headphones to see what she was listening to.All he heard was “Breathe! Breathe! Breathe!”

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head all go hunting together. Then they decide to all go their separate ways. When they all come back, the brunette had shot a rabbit.
The other 2 ask “How’d you do that?”
She says: “Well, I followed some tracks,and BOOM, I got a rabbit.”
The red-head had came back with a deer. The blond & brunette ask “How’d you do that?” She says:”Well, I follwed some tracks and BOOM, I got a deer.”
The blonde comes back all beat up and bloody, without any game. They ask “HOW’D YOU DO THAT?!?” And she says: “Well I followed some tracks, and BOOM, I got hit by a train”
THE END

There was a blonde sitting on a plane in first class seats with an economy class ticket. The flight attendant asked to check her ticket.
‘Excuse me’ she said ‘you only have an economy class ticket but you are sitting in first class. Could you please move to your allocated seat.’
The blonde was very stubborn and said ‘Im blonde and beautiful and I’m going to New York.’
So the flight attendant went to another flight attendant and told her the problem. Her answer was the same.
‘Im blonde and beautiful and Im going to new york.’
This went on throught 4 other flight attendants.
Finally they went to the captain and told him the problem.
He said ‘I can handle this’ and went to talk to her.
Hw whispered something in her ear and she got up and ran to economy class.
All the flight attendatns were shocked and they asked him how he did it.
He said ‘I told her first class wasn’t going to New York.’

Jeperady!
There is three blonds playing Jeperady. The anoucer says, “This is the final question. How many “D’s” are in Jeperady?” The first blond goes 1.” He goes up to number 2 and she says “1000.” “I’m not even going to ask,” the anoucer said. He goes up to the third blond and she says “33″ How did you get 33?” he asked. The blond goes, Dun Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun…

A Blonde and a Burnette are watching the news at 6. It is live on the scene. It has been reported that a old homeless man is on top of a large bridge and swears that he will jump off the bridge. The Burnette turns around and says to the Blonde” I bet you $50 that he will jump. Th blonde says” You’re on. Sure enough the old man jumps and falls to his death. The Burnette snickers to herself and says”I must admit I did watch the news at 5. The blonde says So did I but, I did’nt think he would jump twice!!